Catalyst
by halestorm999
Summary: "Love is a game I don't understand, and I won't play it with you." "Then we won't call it love." / It's so easy to get caught up in emotions when you're in denial. Lukercy; All Downhill From Here songfic


**AN: So I've spent all day writing this because I've had nothing better to do, and also because I've been having major Lukercy feels for the last few days. I'm actually working on another Lukercy fic at the moment, but that one has a slow build to the Lukercy, so I took a break to write this. I swear I will never listen to All Downhill From Here _ever _again. I have had the song on repeat since I started writing this at ten this morning.**

**For those of you who are following my multichap ****_Holy _****_Ground_****, I swear chapter five is coming before the end of the month. Don't give up on me!**

**Warnings: Slash, language, mentions of sex involving an adult and a minor, and some angst.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I totally don't own PJO. Because if I did, everyone would be gay and alive and nothing would hurt (probably). Lyrics belong to New Found Glory!**

_**Onwards and Enjoy!**_

**~halestorm**

* * *

"It's a cycle," Luke tells Percy, sometime during those scant few weeks when Percy is claimed and hasn't yet been sent to retrieve the lightning bolt. "The gods need something to worry over to keep them from dying of boredom. I guess living for thousands of years gets boring if the risk of an imminent war isn't always just around the corner."

"You're cynical," Percy replies, and Luke doesn't know how he could have expected (hoped for) anything else. "It's not like they planned for Zeus' lightning bolt to be stolen."

Luke lets loose a bitter laugh. "Maybe not. But give it a few years-you'll see what I mean."

Percy looks skeptical, so Luke ruffles his hair and stands, pulling his shirt off and telling Percy to race him to the water. Luke wins easily, but Percy claims it's only because Luke had a head start.

It's so easy to be around Percy that Luke almost forgets he's going to betray the son of Poseidon.

[ _you're hiding something, 'cause it's burning through your eyes. i try to get it out, but all i hear from you are lies_]

* * *

It's after the children of Hades are discovered (after the girl dies and the boy escapes into the labyrinth) that Luke visits Percy.

Luke is waiting in the boy's bedroom when he gets home from school, and a dark look flickers over Percy's face when he sees him.

"I watched you die," Percy growls, his hand sliding deep into his pocket. Luke knows he's reaching for Riptide, but Luke isn't here for a fight. "I saw your body. You were dead."

"Was I?" Luke asks, arching an eyebrow. "Funny. I hadn't noticed."

Percy purses his lips. "How did you survive?"

Luke shrugs. "We have good healers on the dark side," he jokes, but Percy isn't amused.

"Why are you here, Luke?"

Luke sighs, noting how Percy still hasn't drawn Riptide out of his pocket. He's waiting for a good explanation.

"I'm here for you," Luke says, and this time, he doesn't have ulterior motives. He's bearing himself to Percy, because Percy is the only one who will ever get it. "I want you to run away with me. They can't have the Great Prophecy without the two biggest players, right?"

Percy is obviously confused by the offer, and Luke doesn't blame him. "Nico is still alive, somewhere," Percy says, shaking his head. "Even if I wanted to run away with you, I could never leave the Prophecy for him to handle."

Luke knew he'd get an answer like that, but he's risked everything to be here, and he hates how easy it is for Percy to turn him down.

His fingernails dig into his palms as he clenches his hands into fists. "I just want you to be safe," Luke mutters, and he doesn't know why he says it. He knows why he feels that way (Percy's just a kid, but just like Luke, everyone knew his fate before he did. Percy doesn't deserve this shit), but he'll never know why he tells Percy.

Percy barks out a laugh. "Why would you care about me? We're enemies, Luke."

"We don't have to be," Luke snaps, and he has nothing left to lose anymore. He's going to die eventually, and he never wanted to be a good guy, anyways.

He's across the room before Percy can pull Riptide out of his pocket, crushing their mouths together. Percy jerks backwards, wiping his mouth off on his arm, glaring at Luke. Luke has surprised him.

"What the _hell_?" Percy spits out, taking a couple steps backwards, away from Luke.

Luke shrugs, offering Percy a taut smile. "Wanted to see what it feels like before I died. It's no secret that you're attractive, Percy."

Percy's cheeks flush crimson. "You kissed me," he says, sounding a little awed, like he's just registering this fact.

Luke raises an eyebrow. "No shit, Sherlock."

"But..." Percy trails off, shaking his head. "I still won't run away with you," he says firmly. "It's just a trap, right? Exploit my old crush on you, get me out of the picture, kill me before I can fulfill the prophecy...right?"

"Wrong," Luke says, and kisses the corner of Percy's mouth. Then he pulls away, giving Percy a rueful smile. "I have to go. If you won't run away with me, I've got an army to lead."

Luke teleports out of there as quickly as he can, and if anyone on the Andromeda has noticed that he was gone, they say nothing about it.

Luke's lips tingle for the rest of the day, reminding him that he kissed the golden boy of Olympus.

[_and i can tell you're going through the motions; i figured you were acting out your part_]

* * *

Before spring returns, it's become a habit, a routine.

Luke seeks Percy out between the hours after Percy gets out of school and before Miss Jackson comes home. Usually they meet up at a sleazy motel on the shady side of Manhattan, but sometimes they meet at Percy's apartment. On those days, they don't sleep together-instead, they make out lazily, with minimal groping, and they snack on whatever sweets Percy has in his kitchen (always blue, and it's a quirk Luke is starting to adore, but he'll never admit it) as they talk about the mortal halves of their lives. Percy's always consists of school and homework and friends, whereas Luke likes to talk about the places he's visited.

"Being the leader of Kronos' army has its perks," Luke tells Percy one time. "I've traveled the world doing his business."

Luke almost likes the days in Percy's apartment better than the ones in the motel, because in the motel, their whole relationship starts to feel sick and wrong. Percy was a virgin before he started sleeping with Luke, and Luke kind of wishes Percy's first time could've been with someone pure, like Annabeth. But the guilt is usually overwhelmed by the pleasure, and Luke doesn't think he's ever seen anything as lovely as Percy on his knees before him, his lips swollen and red as they stretch around Luke's dick.

"One of us will die," Percy says on one of the days spent in the motel as he walks through the door, dropping his backpack to the floor and yanking his t-shirt over his head. Today, there will be no preamble-no build up, no foreplay. Percy isn't in the mood, and Luke can respect that.

"I know," Luke says, softly, watching as Percy kicks off his jeans.

The younger demigod stands in front of Luke in just his plaid blue boxers, a distressed look on his face.

"I don't want it to be you," Percy whispers, looking insecure, "but it can't be me."

Luke closes his eyes, his throat thick with everything he'll never say to Percy. "I know," he repeats, and motions for Percy to climb onto the bed beside him.

They don't talk again for the rest of the afternoon, and when Percy kisses Luke goodbye, Luke doesn't respond.

[_once again, we're playing off emotion. which one of us will burn until the end?]_

* * *

In another life, Percy might have been the villain, and Luke might've been the hero. Sometimes, Luke misses the way Annabeth and the other kids at Camp Half-Blood revered him. Even Percy doesn't quite look at him with anything other than pity (and love, but Luke doesn't want to admit that to himself just yet), and Luke thinks he's more bitter about that than anything else.

In a few months, Luke will be hosting Kronos, and he doesn't know why he's still hanging around Percy. The kid is a good fuck, sure, and a good conversationalist, and Luke cares for him, but Luke knows he's going to die, and it will either be at Kronos' hands, or Percy's.

And Luke still doesn't know why he still seeks Percy out for these illicit make out sessions, tender conversations, and rough fucks.

[_your good intentions slowly turn to bitterness; recurring episodes with each and every kiss_]

* * *

There's a few seconds of consciousness in which Luke ponders the smarting pain on his nose and the distressed look on Percy's face.

He wants to apologize to the younger boy, gather him into his arms and kiss him like he used to, and maybe applaud the cute redhead on her aim, because that hairbrush hit Luke dead on, but he can already feel Kronos taking back over, and he doesn't want to inform Annabeth and Rachel of his and Percy's affair. It was bad enough having to order his men to kill Percy, and seeing the hurt look on Percy's face when he did.

But Luke can't tell anyone about what he's been doing to the son of Poseidon-if anyone finds out, the prophecy will work out in Kronos' favor, because there's no way Percy would be allowed to lead Camp Half-Blood to war if they knew he was sleeping with the enemy.

Luke relents control again, exhaustion curling throughout his mind as Kronos takes over his body a second time.

[_and i can't believe you pulled it off again, or notice 'til it all sets in_]

* * *

Once, before Luke becomes Kronos' vessel, Luke has the chance to leave Percy.

"I love you," Percy says, as Luke walks into Percy's bedroom, blue Tupperware from Percy's kitchen in his hand.

"No, you don't," Luke snorts, and pops the lid off of the Tupperware and holds it out to Percy. "Cookie?"

Percy takes one of the cookies (blue chocolate chip, naturally) and frowns at Luke. "I do, though. I love you."

Luke presses his lips together tightly for a moment. "Love is a game I don't understand," he admits, shaking his head, "and I won't play it with you."

Percy looks hurt at first, but then he nods. "Then we won't call it love."

Luke arches an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

Percy shrugs. "If saying I'm in love with you will scare you off, then we won't call it love."

Luke raises an eyebrow, amused. "What will we call it, then?" he asks, climbing onto the bed beside Percy, nipping at the boy's ear.

Percy inhales sharply, but still manages to get out, "Attraction. Physical and emotional attraction."

Luke hums softly. "_There's_ a game I know how to play."

When he takes Percy that afternoon, it's slow and tender, and it's not until Luke buttons up his pants and leaves that he realizes he never has to go back. That Percy is in love with him, and if he goes back again, he'll break both of their hearts in the long run.

Nevertheless, Luke finds himself waiting in Percy's living room two days later.

[_you'll deny it 'til you're at your bitter end]_

* * *

On the day Luke dies, he realizes that when he stole the lightning bolt, he set things in motion that might've been avoided until later, when Percy was older and less susceptible to the brokenness.

Except Luke never would have waited until later-it was his destiny to become the traitor, to make sure Percy was claimed in time to fulfil the prophecy, to make sure that Percy lived and he didn't. He was Percy's catalyst.

Luke doesn't know what to say to Percy, so he doesn't look at him. Instead, he asks Annabeth something he's always wanted to know.

Later, Luke will realize that Percy never knew he loved him. That through all of the time they spent together, Luke never once told Percy he loved him.

[_catalyst, you insist to pull me down. you contradict the fact that you still want me around_]

* * *

Percy groans into his pillow when he sees the time on his alarm clock, because who the hell rings someone's doorbell at three o'clock in the morning.

Percy prays that the doorbell didn't wake his mom or Paul, and clumsily makes his way down the stairs of Paul's house and into the living room.

Percy almost shuts the door again, because this can't be possible. Percy hasn't had hallucinations in years, and he doesn't know why they're starting back up again on his fourth month of his senior year of high school.

"Luke?" Percy asks instead, because maybe the blond in front of him is just a hallucination, but Percy doesn't want him to go.

"Hey," Luke says, giving Percy his signature mischievous grin. "I was just wandering around the land of the dead several months ago, and found out that the gate that kept us all locked in was unguarded. Remembered I had unfinished business with a certain son of Poseidon, and, well. It took me a while to track you down, but here I am."

Percy stares at Luke. "You escaped from the Underworld while Thanatos was missing? But...he's back now. You should have been drug back to the Underworld immediately."

Luke gives Percy an impish smile. "I made a deal with the god of the dead. No biggie."

Percy blinks. "You said you were going to try for rebirth."

"I decided to wait for you," Luke says, shrugging like it really isn't a big deal. "We have unfinished business, remember?"

Percy hesitates, but asks, "What unfinished business do you have with me?"

Luke rolls his eyes at the question, like it's obvious and Percy should understand already (and Percy probably should, but it's three am, damn it).

And like it's nothing, Luke says, "I never told you that I love you, too."

[_and it's all downhill from here_]


End file.
